By Monica Chen-Furman, Sacred Rim Event Planning, Pinedale
Images by Virginia Ruth Photography, Rock Springs
You have been dreaming all your life about your wedding. The man of your dreams has proposed, you said “Yes,” and now the wedding planning has begun. No one planned for a pandemic to sweep across our world. But on March 15, 2020, the CDC recommend that all weddings in the United States be canceled for 8 weeks (learn more at cdc.gov.) Now what?
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Before making any big decisions, contact your wedding planner. If you don’t have one, it may be a good time to find one in your area who can help you navigate through the changes. If a wedding planner is not an option, contact your venue and vendors. These experts are going to be able to provide you with the necessary steps that will be best for your wedding.
What you need to do now is determined by your wedding date. If your the big day is scheduled from now until mid-May, then choosing another day will be your first step. If your wedding is later in the summer, then no changes are necessary at this time. However, because the future is unclear, making a plan B is a good idea. Make sure to talk to your event planner, venue, and vendors to help you as you make these changes. You are strong, you will get through this, and at the end of the day, you get to marry your best friend! So hold your family and friends close and keep an open line of communicate with your wedding team (event planner, venue, vendors). You have so many people that are going to make sure your wedding day is all that you dreamed.
INFORM YOUR GUESTS
Make sure to communicate to your guests any changes that occur. If you have a wedding website, this is a great place post any changes so your guests can stay up to date. You can even include trendy “change of date” insert cards with your invitations.
Having to change your wedding day, or even having to face the possibility can be very hard. Give yourself some time to feel sad, angry, frustrated… Do something that brings you joy (with social distance in mind of course). Limit the amount of time that you watch the news and get plenty of rest.
You are strong, you will get through this, and at the end of the day, you get to marry your best friend! So hold your family and friends close and keep an open line of communicate with your wedding team (event planner, venue, vendors). You have so many people that are going to make sure your wedding day is all that you dreamed.
you ready for what happens after the rings and reception? As you look forward
to a lifelong commitment, it’s easy to feel a mixture of excitement and nerves.
You have probably heard the odds about divorce and you’ve probably heard
that relationships take work. Love isn’t always enough to sustain a marriage.
do people do in healthy, long-lasting relationships? To answer that, I
have to share the knowledge and wisdom of my go-to guru on healthy
relationships & marriage. Dr. John Gottman is a therapist and researcher
who has studied couple relationships for decades. This man can actually predict
divorce. He doesn’t have a crystal ball; he has identified the
destructive habits that cause marital demise. Most importantly, he figured out
the key habits people engage in on a regular basis to do work in their
relationship. These habits are effective–we have decades of research to prove
it. The great thing is these habits are things you can do right now, on a daily
basis, to help your relationship thrive over the years.
what’s the secret? Put simply, couples in happy long-lasting relationships are
best friends and treat each other accordingly. That foundation of friendship
means that partners know about each other’s current lives. Here’s the key with this
one: the person you marry will change. Perhaps in small ways, but maybe in
major ways. For instance, if you become parents together, that role will change
your worlds in big ways. It’s important to keep yourself updated on your
partner’s life of which you share a large part. Dr. Gottman calls this concept
“Love Maps.” He stresses the importance of knowing your partner’s inner world
by having regular conversations about their life. What is their favorite way to
spend their time? What is their biggest fear? What personal improvements are
they trying to make? What’s going on with their friendships? Answers to these
questions give you a mental picture of your partner’s world. We’ve all probably
heard a person regretfully say, “we just grew apart,” or, “I just don’t know
who they are anymore, they’re not the person I married.” Keeping up-to-date on
your “Love Map” is just one way to prevent that from happening and keep a
strong foundation of friendship.
friends listen to one another and deal with conflict in a generally respectful
way. Part of listening to one another involves including your partner in big
decisions. Dr. Gottman found that partners (men especially) who accept
influence from their partner have greater satisfaction in their relationships. Accepting
influence means including your partner in major decisions, valuing their
opinion, and listening to their ideas. Want to buy a new car? Thinking about
applying for a new job in another town? Talk about the decision with your
on to that sticky subject of conflict — in any discussion about healthy
relationships, it’s bound to get some attention. Did you know that happy
couples fight as much as unhappy couples? Yes, you read that right. Research
shows that it’s not how much you fight, it’s how you fight that
counts. Contempt, criticism, and
explosive anger will all eat away at that
foundation of friendship. Unfortunately, our biology works against us when we
face conflict. When you become angry or emotionally aroused, your brain is
actually flooded with chemicals that render you useless in solving problems and
seeing your partner’s point of view. It’s easier said than done, but the best
thing to do when you’re emotional or angry is to take a break and come back to
the conversation when you are both calm and have a clear mind.
long-lasting couples don’t just deal with conflict when it arises, they do so
much more to express appreciation and affection. John Gottman found that
stable, happy couples had a ratio of five positive interactions to
every one negative interaction. That is, these couples still argue, say snarky
things, or snap at one another. But, they also share inside jokes, hug, laugh,
listen, and compliment each other more than they fight. It’s like filling up
your love bank account with positive experiences so that when you take a
withdrawal, you’ll be okay.
many things in life, you get out of marriage what you put into it. The hard
work that goes into a lasting marriage pays off. Satisfied couples are happier,
mentally and physically better off, and (especially men) are likely to live
longer. Happy couples also make better parents. Notice that the key word in
those statements is happy. Unhappy couples don’t fare so well. It’s not
simply being married that is beneficial–it’s being in a satisfied, emotionally
connected relationship. So, as you look forward to a lifetime together, keep in
mind these habits for a healthy, happy relationship.
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman
For new parents: “And Baby Makes Three” by John Gottman
About Alyssa McElwain …
Alyssa McElwain, PhD, CFLE is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Family & Consumer Sciences at the University of Wyoming. Dr. McElwain received her M.S. in Marriage & Family Therapy from Purdue University in 2008, and her Ph.D in Human Development & Family Studies from Auburn University in 2015. Her approach to teaching her classes at UW includes active student participation & discussion, including role playing activities and critical case analyses. “Step into one of my classes and you will clearly see that teaching is my passion,” Dr. McElwain writes. “I strive to provide an engaging educational environment where students actively participate in their learning. My belief is that learning can and should be fun. I also believe the best learning occurs when people work hard and practice using the information they are learning.” To learn more about Dr. McElwain’s professional & personal pursuits, visit her website,https://alyssamcelwain.weebly.com/
Perhaps it’s because Ceira (the bride) was one of our former dance teachers at our Laramie Dance & Arts Center that we also own … perhaps it’s the historical flare she and Bryce chose when they selected their engagement shoot venue to be the Pioneer Museum in Lander … perhaps it’s the emotion Virginia Ruth captured in this beautiful shoot … or yeah, maybe it’s just all of that. Whatever it is, I LOVE these images … I can’t wait to see their wedding pics!!
Congrats to these two lovebirds, and thanks to Ginny of Virginia Ruth Photography for sharing!
Wedding Rentals – Make sure you have all the needed items!
Having an outdoor event or using a venue that doesn’t provide every item needed (or the
items that they provide don’t meet your style)? Well let’s talk rentals!
The starting point:
● Check which vendor provides what –
○ venue to see what they include in the price.
○ caterer to review what they include in their price. If you need to provide rentals for them, what do they need and will they unpack and repack the rentals?
● Contact a rental company with your total guest count, the budget you would like to work within (be realistic and honest, as a truly professional company will guide you to the best options), and if you have examples of styles that you like, provide those too!
Some items you may want to consider and discuss with your wedding rental company:
● Outdoor wedding:
○ Do you need a tent? Is it the main venue or will it just be your backup plan if the weather is unpleasant?
■ Will you want fabric draping, chandeliers, or other specialty decor?
■ You may also want to consider heating or A/C depending on the season and weather forecast.
○ Will you need power? Will you need generators to provide electricity for the DJ, band, caterer, and lighting? (These are a few suggestions that will need power, it’s not an exhaustive list!)
○ Restrooms? If you’re outdoors will you have adequate restroom facilities? Estimate around 4 stalls for women and 3 stalls for men per 150 guests.
● All venues:
○ Tables and chairs: You will also want to check if they are provided and meet your expectations at any venue you choose. Remember to include ceremony seating and any special situations like musicians that need seated while playing. In addition to tables for your guests you may need
tables for buffets, cake, and gifts.
○ Dance floor. If you are outdoors this may be a necessity, and if your
venue doesn’t have one or you dislike the one they have you will want to
make sure you have this in your list of rental items.
○ Linens and napkins. There are an array of fabrics, patterns, and colors to choose from, and linens are a wonderful way to customize your wedding and showcase your style! Renting linens ensures that they arrive clean and pressed and that you won’t have to deal with the hassle of cleaning/storing/selling them after the wedding.
○ Dinnerware, flatware, and barware. The best way to figure out what you need here is to start with the venue, caterer, and bartenders to see what they provide and any recommendations they will provide. Your wedding rental professional will answer any questions and assist you with
recommendations and suggestions.
— There are other rentals that may appeal to you depending on the look and atmosphere you would like to create from lounge furniture to ceremony decor like archways. Check with your local wedding professionals to learn about the options you have available.
● If your caterer is placing an order with the rental company, see if they will add your items to their order so that the wedding rentals are all delivered at the same time. This will keep you from having to pay multiple delivery fees, and if all rental items are from the same company you won’t have to keep the orders separate to make sure that they are returned to the correct rental company.
● Inquire if the company charges damage waiver fees and what these fees cover and, just as importantly, what is not covered.
● Review cancellation policies, deposits, retaining fees, and payment arrangements.
Written by & images provided by:
Carol Thomas, Professional Wedding Planner with A-One Weddings & Events event
rental specialist providing rentals throughout Wyoming, Nebraska, and Colorado
I am in love with this gorgeous Casper wedding, full of color & bling and captured by Riverton’s Virginia Ruth Photography! Jessica & Matt had a lot of elegant + colorful touches … totally digging the coral + navy combo, the Blessing Tree and the paper lanterns! Their ceremony was held at Casper Plant Company, with their reception at The Gaslight Social, flowers by Keefe’s Flowers and their DJ was Dynamic Sound & Light of Casper. Thanks Virginia Ruth Photography for sharing!